You will have what you need when you need it

A lot of our worrying comes from believing we will not have enough. We will not have enough money, enough time, enough talent, enough wits, enough energy, enough beauty, enough patience, et cetera to survive. Countless nights I tossed and turned worrying about the day ahead, planning strategic ways to covet my resources, figuring out how to spread myself out accordingly. I counted my hours like coins, and tried to foresee how much energy I would need for the tasks that needed to be accomplished. By the time I’d figured out every last detail, I’d needlessly deprived myself of several hours of sleep. And then I’d worry that my lack of sleep would throw everything off. And thus the cycle begins.

What I’ve learned is that worrying about having enough gets you nowhere. I was at the start of my second of two hot power yoga classes when it hit me – I’m saving my energy. I’m worried that I’m going to run out of steam and not be able to go hard the whole class. I was holding utkatasana with my knees bent to only half of my maximum because I was conserving energy for later on. I wasn’t being fully present in the moment; I was acting out of fear. What was I afraid of? That I would collapse on the floor and the teacher would have to call in the paramedics? That my muscles would be so sore the next day I couldn’t move? That I would – gasp! – have to take a break?! When the time came I was able to coax my tired glutes to hold me in balancing half moon and warrior three. I breathed through the sensation and found balance in the moment. Turns out I did have to take a few moments in child’s pose, but I didn’t die or humiliate myself. I made it to savasana fatigued but unscathed. I had enough energy, enough will, enough perseverance, and enough strength to make it through. I just had to take it one pose at a time, and believe that in the present moment I have all that I need to be perfect NOW.

Case in point: there is no way to predict how we will feel, what we will have, or what obstacles we will encounter. Something we may have thought was a sure thing could fall through at a moment’s notice, or a certain disaster could turn out in the end to be a great blessing in disguise. Part of really existing in the present moment is having faith. We have to believe that the universe is abundant, and wants us to succeed. If we truly trust in this, then it becomes much easier to let go of planning, worrying, and stressing to make things work out in the end. We have to let go a little. We have to know in our hearts that when the time comes, we will have enough money to buy the things we truly need, and that we will have enough time to complete all the urgent things that need to get done. We have to know that we will be able to rise to meet the challenges set forth for us. We have to know – without a shadow of a doubt – that we are enough.